


A Mismatched Royal Flush

by PlatonicSidekick



Series: Fluffy sbi fics! [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Only SBI, Others are only mentioned, Tubbo - Freeform, and pete are main charcters, dtao3, good vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:22:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28698375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlatonicSidekick/pseuds/PlatonicSidekick
Summary: The perfect hand in poker is a royal flush, with an ace, king, queen, jack, and a 10. But when life goes wonkey, will the cards still survive when they arent the same suit?OrSbi fantasy/royal au combined with my knowledge of cards.
Relationships: Eret & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Fluffy sbi fics! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114811
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	1. The Ace of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> (I play euchre not poker and I know this isnt a real royal flush, hush /j) all of the chapters are done and will be posted every hour today. Gotta get some extra clout lmao.

The Ace in cards is the most versatile card, as it changes from game to game. It often represents the one in more simple games, but in games such as Euchre, it is almost second to none. So in a sense, the ace is often overlooked, until it proves just how stupid overlooking it was. As it is, the phrase “an Ace up the sleeve” is used often in regards to tricks or special plans for a reason.

Philza Minecraft has never been seen as much more than a rat, a low life. He is nothing but a poor orphan wandering around, trying to not get crushed beneath all of the city folk. But when he sleeps, he dreams of a castle, an Empire. With friends and a family surrounding him, a wonderful life where he didn’t fear others. Where he was loved.

But that doesn’t exist, for Phil is but 6 years old, he has a long way to go. A lot of training and development needs to happen. He needs to be a warrior, a survivor. He needs to be the most hard core of people. So no, that perfect dream doesn’t exist,  _ not yet.  _

\--------------------------------

When he is 14, he has as much muscle mass as his body allows. He is no longer the malnourished tiny child he was and he knows for a fact that he is stronger than the city kids ever needed to be. The same ones that would beat him up till he couldn’t move, simply because he was below them. It brings him endless joy knowing that they could never lay a hand on him again. 

He traveled far from his home city, out into the woods until he found mountains, rivers, and fields of flowers. Everything that has yet to be destroyed by civilization. It’s out there where he lives and breathes. He flourishes, learning everything from making a small farm to enchanting armour. He is stronger and smarter than he was 8 years ago, when soldiers march past him.

Its the first time he sees another person in those years alone. When one of them spots him, they pause and stare. The Soldier looks much older than he is, but something says that they are a kindred spirit to his own. The leader of the little army sees the man pause and looks to him, and before Phil can blink he is being given orders.

His armour is strong, as are his weapons, all enchanted with everything he can think of. This army, no matter how much older, seems to be made of simple people with very little experience. He knows that if he wanted to, he could take most of them. He could easily go back to his life and farm. But curiosity killed the cat and maybe he wants to talk to someone, anyone. So at age 14, Philza Minecraft joins an army for a country that he doesn’t know, to fight an army for another country he doesn’t know. 

\----------------------------------

Phil learns that the first man’s name is Pete and even with the age difference they get along like a house on fire. Phil’s skill in fighting is good, after spending so long defending against mobs, but he learns quickly that fighting people is very different. Without Pete helping and teaching him, he has a good bet that he would have died in his first battle. 

Pete is also the one who teaches him that war is foolish. That this war was started purely because of disagreement over a piece of land, one thats definitely not big in the grand scheme of things. Pete tells him that its mainly an ego thing, that his king won’t let them have this tiny bit of land, going to war mainly to prove a point rather than be righteous and kind.

When Phil goes to sleep those nights, among the sea of other tents and soldiers, he dreams of a strong king. One that cares about his citizens, that uses the resources that are usually spent on war to instead help care and make sure that everyone has a home. To make sure that people have food on the table and a roof on their heads. A king who knew what it was like to be without it, so he cares and he loves. 

When he wakes to the breakfast bell and Pete putting on his shoes, the hope only grows. Pete doesn’t know why he smiles like he does in the morning. He would not understand the dreams he has of the benevolent king. But that king does not exist.  _ Not yet, but soon. _

\-------------------------------

When He is 19, the war is over. The war taught him things, but the most important thing he learned about was trust. Phil is easy to care, he will always lend a hand if given the option. He made friends with his fellow soldiers easily and cared for them when they left on missions and returned with wounds. But Pete was the only one he trusted and in that he is thankful.

It is because of his care that others trusted him but it is because of his untrustful and cunning ways that the higher ups noticed him. It is because of those both that he rises in the ranks from random soldier to royal advisor by the time the war is over. He is the king's best assistent and even if these are not his dreams, he brings with him peace and prosperity upon the kingdom. Behind every king, there is the brain, and even if the egotistical king is bloodthirsty, he trusts Phil.

But Phil is smarter for more reasons than one. A rebellion is starting. People who lost their family members and friends to the war are angry. But the soldiers that are left make it known that Phil was kind and caring. They tell everyone how it is him that brought peace to the land. Phil is smart, he knows what is coming and while the King shouts of war and power, Phil smiles and waits. When the day comes, Pete leads the troops, and Phil’s dream starts to come true.  _ It’s not over yet, not just yet. _

And so, the 21 year old King Philza Minecraft waits. He doesn’t quite know what he is waiting for, but he knows it’s important. He helps the people, but he stays away from politics and war. As any good card player knows, you want to have more than one good card in your hands. So the Ace of Hearts waits.


	2. King of Spades

The king is easily known as a powerful card, no matter what game you're playing. It is dependable where the Ace is not, it is unchangeable. Sure, one can say that the Queen and normal cards are the same, but something yells in your head that tells you that the king is the best.

Technoblade has a yelling in his ear too, so many voices just yelling and shouting. They tell him all about the world around him, about a war thats happening. One of foolishness and pride. He knows before they come that the village he lives in will be pillaged and burned in the war. But with an uncaring heart for any part of it and the voices screaming to run, Techno leaves. 

When he camps that night he sees the smoke coming from his old home, miles away. If he listens closely enough, he hears the screams. Its with these noises, that he smiles and the voices quiet for the first time in his 4 years of life. He falls asleep content with his life for the first time that he remembers. 

\------------------------

Techno is 8 when the voices scream at him again. They kept him up to date as he traveled, telling him the war ended when he was 6, which country won and what strategies got them there. He is told of a man named Pete, how he was crucial to many important battles. He is told the stories of him and another, Philza, like a fairytale book. If fairytales had blood, war, and politics that is.

He is told that Pete is trusting, brave, and strong. He is told that Philza is caring, smart, and calm. The voices tell him that Pete is gathering angry citizens to rise up against the foolish king, they tell him that Philza is in the castle keeping the king from doing more harm. They are both rewarded when it comes the day of take over and Philza is crowned king with Pete as his Commander. He cheers them on, like the hero finally getting what he deserves, when it happens.

The voices never went away, but they never screamed at him like that day in the village. Sure they shout when danger is near, but it is nothing in comparison to the overwhelming yelling that over takes him. They tell him he has to go to that kingdom, that he needs to find Philza. They tell him that he is waiting for him.

Techno agrees with them, promising to drop everything and head over. Its then that the voices quiet and become sheepish. They tell him that the kingdom is on the other side of the continent. Knowing that no matter how much he’ll hate it, he can’t deny the voices, and with a loud cheer he starts packing up what little he cares for. ‘Time for the human Gps to start working.’

\---------------------------------------------

Techno is 9 when he gets there. Well, not really there, he comes to one of the big cities that are along the border, when he meets him. The king was passing through, making sure to check up on his counsel member that is stationed there. He should have known that was why the voices let him rest, but alas he did not.

He takes shelter in one of the better alleys, under a window canopy the owner of the building nicely put outside. With the sun set and soft patter of rain, Techno is easily lulled to sleep.

When he wakes up, it is not to the thunder that is caused by the horrid storm that replaced the calm rain. He has slept through much worse conditions in caves or just under trees. No, he is woken by a man standing at the end of the alley, with guards on both sides.

“Hello there mate, it seems as though you’ve woken up with perfect timing. Don’t worry, none of us mean any harm, I was just worried about you.” The man holds out his hands away from him, doing his best to not scare Techno off. “I’ve done my best to keep people off the streets and fed, but you seem to have been the only one to stay out here.” As he approaches, he notices that the man sounds disappointed in that statement.

Techno also notices that the man has beautiful robes. Dark green with gold and emeralds covering his robe like jacket. Underneath though, looks like the same clothes you would see on a commoner and the combination confuses him. That is, until he sees the crown on top of his head. ‘This is King Philza Minecraft’, the voices tell him, ‘He is 22, he came to this city to check whether his laws were being maintained. So far, you are the only person he has found not safe in a home.’ Amazed, Techno looks at him in wide eyes and opens his mouth.

“No, this is a misunderstanding, your Highness. I just got here today, I was only resting here before I was to head to the capital. You’ve done amazing Sir.” Philza’s face softens, his eyes alight with something he can’t name.

“You think so? Well surely there must be something wrong, nothing is perfect for long. Would you say that you’ve got smarts?” With a confused noise and a shrug of the shoulders, he nods his head to the King. “Good! Would you mind accompanying me back to the castle to help me look over things?” Philza asks him like he’s asking if he would keep a door open, the nonchalant phrasing brings a panic to him.

“I could never impose Sir, you must have many people much smarter than I. Why would you ask me, you're not impared are you, your Highness?” The King simply smiles at him, the glint from earlier increasing tenfold. It’s enough for the voices to give him that small nudge he needs to accept. Though, he still thinks this is foolish. “I will join you if you wish, but please do not be afraid to kick me out the second I am not useful.”

With a hand gently placed on his shoulder, he is guided away. Though Philza nods and crosses his heart at his statement, the guards laugh a knowing laugh as they lead them out of the rain.

\--------------

Technoblade learns everything he can from Phil. He learns how to fight with more weapons than he can count on his hands. He learns how to give speeches and how to talk to people even if it makes him uncomfortable sometimes. He learns of fancy clothing and red capes. He learns to love reading and cooking. He learns to love.

When he is almost 11 he beats Phil in a fight. Its the happiest he has ever been. Pete, his other teacher, picks him up and cheers him on. Phil lays on the ground where he was knocked down and laughs at their antics. As promised by the man himself, they eat Techno’s favourite food for dinner that night.

Pete says he will be stronger than Philza, and although he might, he will not be better. At least in Techno’s opinion. He becomes knowledgeable in warfare, perfect at guessing what their opponents will do and striking at their weakest. When the time comes for war, he will be the one to make the country prevail. And so, the King of Spades waits.


	3. The Queen of Diamonds

The queen is often regarded as the weakest of the head cards. With the Jack sometimes being best, and the others already overpassing it, its power is undermined quite often. Though, in a game such as old maid, the queen is dreaded. The queen assures loss where the king assures victory. Always be wary of the queen. 

Wilbur Soot is loved and hated by all he meets. With a charm like no other, he wanders from town to town at the age of 5. He is a street rat by all means, treated poorly and off to travel about with only his trusty guitar with him. Unlike the Ace and the King, Wilbur knew and loved his parents. But when he was 4, they perished in a sickness, leaving him only the instrument to hold on to. 

He charms food and small coins for his strumming and singing, but after a while the town gets annoyed with him and he leaves. Being on the constant move shouldn’t be fun, but he likes traveling and meeting new people, so it doesn’t bother him too much.

But there is still that little thought in his head, that little longing in his heart, that tells him he wants a family. He wants a roof over his head and warm food to eat. But as of right now, that is merely a wish that he makes on the stars. One day, someday.

\---------------------------------

He is 8, when he meets a traveler with wonderful news. She tells him of her home, a kingdom that is blessed with a wonderful King and Prince who take care of each of the citizens. Making sure they all have shelter and food. Its all Wilbur has ever wanted, and with the help of the lady, they travel back to the kingdom.

He learns that she was on a scouting mission, sent out by the Prince to find someone. It was only because it was against the king's wishes that he didn’t come himself. All she knew was that the person would be different and stand out. She jokes that the only person that stood out was Wilbur, but he brushes the comment off. 

“It must just simply be because my music entranced you. I can assure you that I am nothing special.” She smiles at him and shrugs, and with that they move on from the topic. For the rest of the journey they talk about their past loved ones, he talks of his parents and she talks of her husband. She tells him stories of her son, a bright ball of light and he trades with her his hope.

\-------------------------------------

When they get to the castle, he is immediately met by the prince. The boy, older than him by 3 years, seemed to have been waiting by the door. He is pacing the hallway beyond the large door, waiting impatient for some important news. When they make eye contact, he relaxes and opens his mouth.

“Hello, I am Prince Technoblade. I see she found you in good condition, my father was right to trust her.” Wilbur only gives him a confused look, beyond bewildered by the situation. “Come now, we have to go meet Father.” And with that he is dragged off by the wrist farther into the castle.

The knight that brought him here stays behind. She smiles and waves at him when he looks back at her. For unknown reasons, it relaxes him just a little. How bad could this be? He hasn’t committed any crimes (not in this kingdom at the very least), why should he worry. He just hopes the royal family like music.

\--------------------------------

When Wilbur is 11, the kingdom is on the verge of war. His adoptive father Phil has done everything in his power to prevent it, but the neighboring king wants nothing but blood. Even Techno seems to be startled with how little control they possess to prevent it.

The people of both kingdoms want peace, as most do, but unlike the other kingdom, there will be no blame on their king. Phil has been very public with everything, making sure that the citizens know that he is doing his best and that they can still trust him. If they go to war, Phil will have the side of the people simply because he did his best to uphold their desires.

Wilbur knows that it is not them that will fall, but he still worries. He met the prince of the other kingdom before. Eret is a good prince, he likes his people but hates his father, and does not want war. He does not like the tension and stress it brings everyone, but he must follow the wishes of his father. Eret has told him that the man is as bad as he seems publicly as he is in privacy.

All of these combined does not make Wilbur pity or care for the king. So on the day of the last negotiations, Wilbur sneaks something he traded for in the market into his family’s drinks and takes their place. By the time Phil is told that Wilbur left, the threat is no longer present, and Eret is king. 

Their country's go from enemies to strong and fast allies. Wilbur is rewarded by being given the job over politics. With his charm and doing what needs to be done, he easily allies and gets rid of many other kingdoms. By the time he is 12, their kingdom is an Empire, and yet something is still missing. And so, the Queen of Diamonds waits.


	4. The Jack of Clubs

The jack is a card like no other. Unlike the Ace, which can be a 1 or the highest number, the Jack is often the easiest to gain power for. Whether it be a simple game of slap Jack, where it’s importance is in the name, or euchre. It’s in euchre is where its power shines, as both of the color paired Jacks are the most powerful cards in the game. You never want to take the offer without at least one Jack on your side, even having the other royal cards can only do so much.

Tommy Innit is like no other 4 year old you’ll meet. Sure he ain’t loved by his neighbors but they don’t have to. He’s the son of a knight for the great Empire he lives in, and she’s a good one. He wants to follow his Mothers path more than anything. With that fire burning so strongly that no darkness lingers, what would he care if he ain’t someone’s cup of tea.

He has a pal named Tubbo, he’s the son of the farmer right outside of the town. They’re inseparable and together none of the ‘would be’ bullies and can even touch them. They can conquer anything, maybe even the world if they put their mind to it. His Mother laughs at this,

“Oh, only the foolishest of people would take over the world,” She states, laughing some more before making him set the plates.

\-----------------------------------------------

Tommy is 5 when his Mother dies and he meets the Royal family. The second prince, Wilbur, seems just as distraught as his father. Tommy can faintly remember the story she told him, of a mission to find someone who was special. He learns that saying that wasn’t the right thing when Wilbur breaks down into tears, huddling into his older brother. While he is distracted by the princes, the King comes up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

He speaks to Tommy, but he can’t hear any of it. He assumes it’s supposed to be comforting, but his Mother died just a day ago, and the shock has yet to release him. Soon, the King notices and with a head pat, goes back over to his sons. Tommy expects to be guided out of the castle to an orphanage, but instead finds another hand on his shoulder.

Prince Techno is 16 and towers over him up close, but unlike the King, he brings a different emotion with him. It feels straight to the point, strong and steady where the King’s words were kind and calm. Within moments he breaks down and is guided into a half hug. A small part of the Prince’s cape covers his other shoulder, and warmth spreads in him.

Little does he know yet, that despite the tragedy that has occured, the family before him look to him like the last piece in their puzzle. A wacky twisted puzzle that he can’t help but love and adore as he grows.

\----------------------------------

Tommy reunites with his right hand Tubbo as quickly as possible. Tommy smiles and becomes less closed off from his new family, Tubbo fits in just perfectly as well. With that notion and the joy that he brings from Tommy, he is given an apprenticeship under the king himself. Together they grow up in the castle.

Phil teaches Tubbo all he learned from his days alone. Teaching him about animals, farm secrets, weaponry, and enchantments. Tubbo soaks up each bit like a sponge, never taking a fact for granted, no matter how small. Tommy learns it second hand, as Tubbo rambles on to him everything he learned. By how Phil never takes him for lessons, he assumes the man already knows.

Techno and Wilbur are the ones who teach him things. Techno teaches him how to fight, tells him he takes to the sword almost as good as he did. Tommy stays happy the rest of the day, buzzing off the pride he got from the comment. Despite how much he complains, Techno also forces him to learn about battle strategy, how to pick up on someone else's emotions and use them against them. He’s really good at getting the upper hand on Wilbur for there isn’t a skill he has better than pissing him off.

Wilbur, the more traveled, teaches him about the lands. He tells him about the cultures they have and how to properly speak with people. When Tommy doesn’t give up swearing, he moves on to music. Although he doesn’t pick up the guitar, both he and Tubbo learn to play the piano. During balls or special gatherings, the attendees often hear the piano duets they play. No one comments how the Royal Family brightens to the sound.

When they are 13 they fit perfectly into their little world, they wouldn’t change anything. God watch over the poor souls that go to war with them. Tommy and Tubbo are loyalty and passion incarnate, and you’ll be damn sure they’ll fight for this empire.  _ No, they’ll fight for their home. _

\-------------------------------

They are 15 when that is challenged. The only other kingdom large enough to stand against them declares war before they can even talk to one another. Phil is beyond distraught, with Techno wanting blood and Wilbur being disappointed with himself, they are left to their own devices.  _ Big mistake _ .

Trained and taught by the best, the twins in everything but blood and looks pull a Wilbur and leave in the night. They take the fastest plane and an electra incase they crash, both taken from Tommy’s father. With nothing but the stars above and wind in their faces, they prepare to take on the world.  _ Or maybe even take over it.  _

King Dream is a hard ass, he is stubborn to the point that even if Wilbur had the chance to have spoken with him, he wouldn’t have been able to sway him one bit. He demands things and won’t negotiate, only saying he won’t attack if they give him their land and valuables. 

But Tommy isn’t known to give in and grovel either. Even Tubbo stands strong against him, they're in this together they decide right then. Even with Dream’s skills, Techno has taught Tommy all he knows, and with the confidence and passion he still holds on to since he was a kid, makes a move that will forever be remembered. A duel, he suggests, one at dusk with bows and arrows and poison. 

Dream’s right and left hands are looking dumbfounded at the boy. Soon their shock changes into very different emotions. Sir Sapnap gives a cocky grin, a glimmer in his eye like he knows something, while Sir George gives a worried and tired look to them. Dream looks him dead in the eyes with a look he would give before putting down a rabid dog. The king accepts.

\--------------------------------------------

When the rest of the royal family get there, they are but a few hours too late. They rush past all the guards, who don’t even attempt to stop them. Bursting into the throne room ready to slice the head off of the king, they are met with a sight very different and unexpected.

There on the throne are two lean bodies smushed together to fit, the boys two sets of blue eyes looking directly at them. A signature and devilish smirk on one face, a sheepish grin on the other as they finally notice the crown that sits on brown hair, barley not falling over his head. The shock of the whole situation freezes movement from everyone for a good minute.

It’s the Crown Prince of the Antarctic Empire that leaps at the two boys, grabbing them and lifting them up in a yell. Phil and Wilbur join them all shouting nonsense. From scolding threats of violence for worrying them to Joyus statements of pride, the room is filled with noise. With the world at their fingertips and peace to be made, they head home ready for some down time before their next adventure. And so, the Jack of Clubs waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one is like a little short epilogue, so this story is mainly done! Dont forget to comment if you liked it!


	5. The 10 of Diamonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short and mainly a little extra bit because I forgot that a royal flush has the 10 too lmao.

Those cards are always thought to be the best, but to make the perfect hand in poker or have a back up in euchre, the 10 is the final card you need. Sure it has no fancy name or title, but it’s important nonetheless. It helps them stay steady and dominate whether you think it can or not. There is nothing bad about having a 10.

Pete is not what you would call important. Yes, he’s the Commander of the army. Yes he created and led the rebellion to get rid of their tyrant of a ruler. And yes, he fought and won many battles even before that in the war. But he is not a royal, just a lucky new noble. He knows that he wouldn’t have even changed a thing if he could have.

He could never persuade people to stand down and rise like Wilbur. HIs charisma and skill at the his chosen job fits him perfectly. Pete is just someone who the army trusts and knows. If Wilbur had an eye for the military, he would have been replaced in an instant.

He could never have brought peace to the land like Phil did. So when he lead the rebellion and won the battle, he gave the title away. He was no statueusque king that the people desired. He was definitely not the smart and skillful man that would have lead there whole country to prosperity.

He could never have been the undefeatable tactical god that is Technoblade. He fought hard and won sure, but it doesn’t compare. He may have taught him all he knew but that does not mean that Techno didn’t far outpass him long ago.

He could never shout and challenge one of the best fighters with only a bow and arrow like Tommy. He doesn’t even think he could be like Tubbo and stand by his friend. He was sure the two went on a suicide mission. But when they came back with knees that the Antarctic Empire was now in control of most of the world, allied with the rest, he couldn't fathom it. 

But Pete knows that even if people may not think of him as important, he is. He knows he is from how the royal family act with him. That this is his home, whether he thinks he deserves it or not.

It’s in the way that Phil sits beside him on the roof and laughs about their youth. It’s in the way that Techno pulls him up off the ground after he gets knocked down, with smiles on their faces. Its with how Wilbur will ask him how he should go about something with more war based strategy. It’s how Tommy and Tubbo still like to be trained by him even though Techno is so much better.

He fits in just fine, perfect in his role of being an honorary member of the family. He may not have the passion of the twin devil or the strength of the blood god, but he will fight until the day he goes down for these people and this country. He may not have the calm cunning of his oldest friend or the grace of the dirty crime boy, but he is the respected Commander of the Antarctic Empire. _ (And they couldn’t have done any of this without him) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I play more euchre than poker, and a rule in euchure is that both the jacks of the same color are the strongest cards if the suit is called. Tubbo is the Jacl of Spades becuase him and Tommy would be the best team! Thats why this is Pete and not Tubbo.


End file.
